PASTORAL ABUSE II

SUPPRESSION

Members who are under pastoral abuse tend to walk in suppression because of the consequences they have witnessed and experienced. They realize they run the risk of ‘being brought to an open shame’ if they do not do or say exactly what the pastor wants. Their true feelings can never be expressed and must be suppressed in an effort to make certain everything they say or do will keep the pastor happy. We know it is the responsibility of the conscience to either accuse or excuse all actions and responses.

Romans 2:14-15

14 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves:

15 Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another

Members are never given the liberty to explain to the pastor that what they have been asked to do or say goes against their conscience. Therefore, even when they know the truth, they go along with the lie to avoid negative consequences. They tell themselves God will not judge them because they are walking in obedience to God’s designated authority. Inside this abuse, members lose sight of who they truly are. His or her own personality is changed to becoming an individual always wanting to please the pastor, which can never be accomplished. The more they do, the more they are expected to do, since lust can never be satisfied. They no longer know how to hear from God and believe they must only hear from Him through the leader.

They may know God has called them to work inside of ministry, but if the pastor says they should not or does not provide a platform for them, they even lose all hope of any possibility to ever be used by God or walk in the things He has purposed for their lives. They become frustrated and even lose their own identity. They then see ministry not as God sees it, but only as doing whatever their leader tells them to do, which will be only those things that satisfy him.

FEAR

Abused members live in constant fear, not in fear of the true consequences of sin, but of what the leader might do to them if they do not constantly remain in their place of submission to him. Leaders who are abusive are usually mean and will use whatever tactics they can to keep their personal subjects under them. They will stop at no length. This might include turning other members or even family members against them and will even preach specific sermons in large meetings where everyone there knows exactly of whom they are speaking. This is called ‘open rebuke.’

1 Timothy 5:20

20 Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

The scripture does say that those who sin should be rebuked before all. However, this does not imply open rebuke for those who fail to do everything they are told to do by their pastor. One thing we must remember . . .God is a God of love and mercy. Whenever rebuke is necessary, He will also offer a remedy so that the individual can find their way back to Him. The abusive pastor always fails to bring God’s mercy and love in the situation. Usually, if a member is rebuked, everyone else in the congregation must leave that member alone until the leader deems it is time for them to speak to that ostracized member again. We must also remember another tactic the abusive pastor uses; it is fear of God’s consequences for disobedience. Since that leader has twisted and misrepresented the scriptures, the member only knows to expect that whenever he steps across the boundaries he will be cast away from God and end up in hell. This mindset is so powerful that even if someone does leave that church, they all too often still feel and even expect God to judge them. They do not feel they can be successful either in God or in life.

FALSE LOYALTY

When we further look at pastoral abuse, we realize that there are those who are aware of what is going on and are sometimes victims of what is going on. These victims make a conscious decision to remain under such leadership. One of the reasons this choice is made is because of false loyalty. Through careful spiritual manipulation, the members are made to believe they are obligated to the pastor and the church because of what the pastor has done in their lives. The pastor might use such statements as, “While all of you are sleeping, I’m praying for you;” or “Look what God has done in your life through me and my prayers;” or “You can only bloom where you’ve been planted,” which indicates if they leave they will miss God’s blessings for their lives.

If the leader is used in the Word or in the gifts of the spirit, his manipulation is further strengthened. They see this leader as one they should be loyal to since God is seemingly working with him, and one they must remain loyal to even though they may see him walking in error.

MISTRUST

Mistrust means to have a lack of confidence in or to have no trust or confidence in. Many believers involved in pastoral abuse are brought to a place of total mistrust of all ministers and even of God. They came to the church hoping to be able to know and serve God, but because of the greed and lust operating in their leader, they became merchandise and vehicles to satisfy his wantonness.

Isaiah 56:11

11 Yea, they are greedy dogs which can never have enough, and they are shepherds that cannot understand: they all look to their own way, every one for his gain, from his quarter.

2 Peter 2:1-3

1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction.

2 And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of.

3 And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.

Once believers realize their hopes have been denied and they have been exploited and taken advantage of, disappointment sets in and they lose trust in all leaders and in God. Many, after they realize how they were abused and taken advantage of, do not want to have anything more to do with the church, Body of Christ, or even God.

were abused and taken advantage of, do not want to have anything to do with the church or even God.