VULNERABILITY: THE KEY TO DELIVERANCE

The abused heart brings on martyrdom. Martyrdom says, “No one has gone through what I have gone through.” Yes they have. We cannot discredit what has gone on in someone else’s life. Just because you may have not been affected a certain way does not mean someone else was not. We cannot belittle what has gone on in another person’s life. Their sorrow, pain, hurt, disappointment, anger, low self-esteem, damaged emotions, intimidation, shame and meanness . . . all these are encompassed in an abused heart. The heart is fortified by walls of protection with a lock to keep the victim safe, but that lock has a combination that can be found in Jeremiah 33:3: Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

We take our past into our marriages looking and seeking to find love, happiness and contentment in life. The mindsets that have been developed as a result of the abuse hinder our ability to give the very things we are seeking for. We are controlled by our own fear. We are hesitant and do not give anything willingly and the meanness is always there. We learn how to cover up and we become good liars. We would never consider ourselves liars because we see this as a mechanism of protection. This lying covers up a whole lot of feelings so we do not have to make ourselves vulnerable. A marriage is a two-way street. Both partners came into the marriage looking and hoping that their needs and wants would be fulfilled by the other person. However, neither is capable of providing for the other, especially if neither one has the Holy Ghost. Inside your meanness, your husband may become frustrated with you and out of this frustration strike you. No, he does not have the right to strike you but it happens. You never consider him and his past because you are so involved with yourself. You cannot see beyond your own pain and disappointment.

Vulnerable -

1. Susceptible to physical injury.

2. Susceptible to attack.

3. Subject to criticism or censure: ASSAILABLE. Webster’s Dictionary

God will not have you look unto man for the things He put in you. Let us look in Ecclesiastes to see how God intended a marriage to be.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Unless the Holy Ghost enters into that marriage you will be alone. In marriage God wants us to be one, but when you go into a marriage looking for the other to supply those emotional needs you are like a tree that falls alone . . . no one hears you. Because you have isolated yourself, you have never taken the initiative to be with someone wholly. Why? Because you do not want to be abused again. Unless we are willing to confront the issue, fight hard for it, are willing to suffer and willing to destroy the negative effects of abuse in our lives, we will never be free. When you rear your children, you bring them up the same way. You may never sexually abuse your child but you do not know how to give unconditional love or encourage them. You raise them in fear to the extent that you never let them live and think for themselves. You are always protecting and trying to keep them in that environment of a safe haven. But what we think is a safe haven and what has actually been produced are two entirely different things. Abuse touches every area of our lives. Our spouses, children, and our jobs. Abuse puts everyone in prison. But God is faithful.

St. Luke 22:31

And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

The name Simon means unstable; tossed to and fro. Desired means to lust after. From the beginning the devil desired God’s man and whatever way he could use to bring man down Satan did. Sift means to wander, stagger to and fro; to totally eradicate. The devil wants us separated from God. The word devil even means to divide two without a cause. Behold means look up; to be aware of something you did not know before. Look up, God wants to show us the workings of the fleshy mind that have separated us from Him.

THE WORD OF GOD: HEALING FOR THE ABUSED HEART

St. Luke 22:32

But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

Jesus prayed that we would believe the truth because God’s Word is truth. When we have been converted, healed and restored, we are to strengthen those who have fallen by the hand of their own minds. The act is over but the thoughts are not. The imagination is our holding place. It brings images and that is what we are reliving, producing emotions of anger, frustration and hatred within. Every emotional weakness was produced from our past experiences, and although we were born in sin and shaped in iniquity that invasion done a long time ago holds us in the present. It is your wrong thinking that is holding and keeping you in bondage, captivity, hate and iniquity. Iniquity stops the flow of love.

You are bent on living in your past, staying in unforgiveness and living inside your lying emotions. Because you were abused you don’t want to see yourself this way, but you must face reality and be able to acknowledge this in order to be set free. We can cry, moan and even starve ourselves. We may not associate the two but that void, rejection and emptiness took hold of some- Sin touches every area of our life. God is a deliverer! even in your appetite. If you suppress long enough you get reflux and diverticulosis and all those diseases of the stomach are a result of our living in our past abuses and not letting go of the unforgiveness and bitterness. The Word says a merry heart doeth good like a medicine (Proverbs 17:22). Only the Word can deliver you from the effects of the offense. Only God can do that in your life. We can be set free instantly, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye; but if it does not happen for you right away, do not be disappointed.

Psalm 131:2

Surely I have behaved and quieted myself, as a child that is weaned of his mother: my soul is even as a weaned child.

The purpose of weaning in the Old Testament was to be set free. We must acknowledge and accept the truth about what has happened to us. If not, we will never be free.

Psalm 124:7-8

7 Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.

8 Our help is in the name of the LORD, who made heaven and earth.

This is our escape. The God who created the universe is strong enough to bear our infirmities. Because of the anointing of the Word of God, yokes are destroyed. We can be set free from our captivities. If you are in an abusive relationship and you want to live holy, stop thinking about the hatred you feel about the person who is abusing you. SEE THEM AS A SOUL WHO NEEDS SAVING AND DOES NOT NEED TO GO TO HELL ON YOUR ACCOUNT. Wrong thinking is the root of all sin.

2 Peter 2:7

7 And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:

8 (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;)

9 The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:

WE DO NOT HAVE TO PUNISH THE ABUSER. DO NOT PUNISH HIM ANY LONGER IN YOUR THOUGHTS. Do not seek retribution. You may be seeking these things now but only the Holy Spirit can give you a heart to forgive. God can and will put in our hearts the desire to love and know Him like we have never known Him before. God knows how to protect the righteous and deliver them out of the snare of the enemy. God will deliver you out of your fear so you will be able to deal with your abuser, not in meanness or hatred or fear but in the confidence of knowing that God is your protector. We can no longer blame our offenders and abusers because they, too, were born in sin and shaped in iniquity. The enemy has them captive just like he had us.

Isaiah 43:18-19

18 Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.

19 Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

Stop tormenting yourselves with the thoughts and memories of your past. Today can be your day of deliverance. God is mindful of you. Not only are you a survivor, but you are an overcomer. THE ABUSED HEART IS HEALED BY THE CHRIST IN YOU, YOUR HOPE OF GLORY. Love produces temperance, goodness, gentleness, long-suffering, peace, meekness and joy. Love is one fruit with many manifestations. God is faithful. He is a deliverer and He is all that we need.

God bless you,

Linda Nicolo