Winning The War In Relationships Part 2

WINNING THE WAR IN RELATIONSHIPS 2

PART A: THE BATTLE IS WON OR LOST IN YOUR MIND

It is very important that you understand this phase of the lesson. In part one we pointed out the weapons of Satan’s warfare against the saints of God. I really want you to look at the effect that the spirit of jealousy, pride and mental cruelty have on you. It is most important that you judge your response to these mindsets.

If you are not walking in the spirit of humility in the midst of such opposition, then you too are walking in pride, jealousy and inflicting mental cruelty on your offender.

If you operate in pride inside of a relationship, then likewise your motive is to subdue and conquer the spirit of the other individual for your own personal satisfaction and agenda. If pride is present in you, then your agenda in their lives is not the same as God’s. His purpose is to save and deliver. Yours is to subdue and conquer, to get them to bend to your will, not that of the Father.

You may not agree with the fact that you are the same as the offender, simply because you were the one that was originally offended by that person. However, I want you to acknowledge that the mind of the Father is for you to walk in the ministry of reconciliation at all times. If you allow your hurts or disappointments to move you out of character, then the offenders will never see the Father. They will be alienated from the one thing that can save them. You are the beacon the Lord wants to use in this hour. You are their only point of reference to God.

Galatians 6:1-3

1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of meekness;

2 considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

This is very serious. You must look at the fact that you have the same motives as those that offend you when you walk in pride, not obeying the Word of God.

YOUR PRIDE WILL DESTROY YOUR MINISTRY

The objective of pride is to subdue and conquer the will of another. When you retaliate against your offender with anything other than righteousness, then you too respond with whatever you feel is capable of humbling the offender. With many women the response may be that of emotional trauma put on display:

l. This emotional trauma may be displayed by the excessive verbalization of the humiliation you experience at the hand of the offender.

2. It could also be displayed by your submission to depression or regression. To do so is to take the focus off of what the Lord wants to do in the life of the offender and to place the spotlight on what the offender has done to you. This is pride.

I do not mean to say that inside of an offense, you are not given the right to voice the hurt you feel or the humiliation. However, what I am saying is that you have no right to use the hurt as a weapon of retaliation against the offender.

It is the purpose of the enemy to cause you and your loved ones to walk off course with God. Pride and jealousy compel you to diminish spiritually.

Proverbs 29:23

23 A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.

Mark 7:21-23

21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:

23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

PART B: JEALOUSY REFUSES TO SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF GOD

As you learned earlier, jealousy is the hatred of what God is doing in the life of another. It is the resentment of any seeming advantage enjoyed by another.

You must examine yourself to see if you are not resentful of the advantage the offender had over you. You can judge this by your response to the offense. If you responded in the flesh, and not in godly character, then you would not allow the Spirit of God within you to absorb the offense. You took it as a direct attack on your flesh, instead of a trying of your faith. Now that flesh is attacked, it responds.

The devil is an expert at setting the saints up to fail. Each of your trials must be seen as an attack on the God within you. If you can look past the offense to your own personage you will see that the power of God in your inner man is able to bear the offense.

YOUR RESPONSE TO HURT CAN BE MENTALLY CRUEL TO THE OFFENDER

If you do not obey the Word of God in the midst of an offense, then you will seek retribution against the offender. Sometimes this is done very subtlely. You can hide your plight under a religious veil. Nevertheless the intent is the same.

A non-spiritual reaction to an offense can cause the offender to experience the mental cruelty of having to deal with your negative disposition. If you do not forgive the offender, then you will seize every opportunity to punish him for the offense. Again this may be done in the name of an emotional trauma resulting from the initial offense. Therefore, it is almost expected and in some cases excusable in the mind of the offender.

A person knows when they have done wrong. They know when you are being kind and loving and they know when you are tormenting them because of the offense. This may be your way of forcing the offender to deal with your hurt. Or, you may be trying to make him or her feel the pain of your hurt. Thus, you are trying to punish the offender by making them feel what you feel. If it hurts you, why should you want someone to experience to same pain you felt. This is retribution and cruelty.

PART C:LINES OF DEMARCATION- SUBMISSION AND CONTROL

Submission is the willingness of the heart to obey the Word of God. Many times saints rebel against submission inside of relationships because they feel it gives their offenders an unfair advantage over them. However, though it may be the offender’s purpose to control you, this is not possible when you remain steadfast in the Word of the Lord.

Your submission must be to the Word of God. If so, then you do the will of the Father. Therefore the Father is the one that controls you. You are His and His alone. He is the one that is in control of the events of your life.

When the Word of God is the authority in your life, having to submit to the human authorities is made easier. The reason being, your purpose in the lives of those that offend you is forever before you. Purpose, as we learned, heals pain.

The offender may even think that he or she has an advantage. But the Word of the Lord is clear, “God resists the proud and exalts the humble.” Don’t be afraid or too proud to humble yourself in an offense. In doing so, you allow the hand of God to move in the life of the offender in a very positive way.

I want to take an excerpt from my lesson, “Hurt is a Weight”: On your way to perfection, people will hurt you. When this happens, you need to go to the throne room for grace and mercy. You need help to hold your peace, to not hate the other person, and you need help not to let your emotions separate you from the other person. You cannot do it with will power, it runs out. This will become evident as soon as the other person lays another offense. You will retaliate.

In the midst of hurt, we don’t normally take it to the throne. However, we should come boldly to the throne. Hurt causes negative emotions. When our emotions are negative, then our actions will be negative too. Once you discover it’s an offense and you are hurt, go quickly to the throne of grace. Don’t wait, because the longer you wait the more opportunity you will have to sin.

The thing that causes us to wait and not go to the throne is that we lose sight of purpose in that person’s life. Purpose will drive you to the throne. If you remember purpose, you will run to the throne for help. “Lord I am hurting. Heal me quickly so that I can do the righteous thing. I want to show this person the love of Christ.” Your healing will begin immediately because your purpose will have outweighed the hurt of the offense.

Psalm 119:165

165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.

The law of God is His love in our hearts. Every time you are hurt, it is an opportunity to express love. Love is an attribute of the character of God.