Winning The War In Relationships

PART A: THE WEAPONS OF SATAN’S WARFARE

The devil will use your husband, wife, friend, or relatives to destroy your ability to minister the gospel of Jesus Christ. He has a systematic plan to stop the flow of ministry from the chosen vessel. Let us examine some of the devices he uses to accomplish the job.

1. PRIDE IN RELATIONSHIPS

I John 2:16

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

Mark 7:21-23

21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders,

22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness:

23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.

1 Timothy 3:6

Not a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil.

Pride - 5187 tuphoo (toof-o'-o); from a derivative of 5188; to envelop with smoke, i.e. (figuratively) to inflate with self-conceit: high-minded, self-confidence, self-exaltation, and haughtiness

You must be careful not to allow the pride of this world to destroy your ministry. The devil will use the pride in others to hinder the work of the Lord. His most effective weapon to destroy the work God has given you to do, is you. Therefore, as we study this section, examine yourself to see if the workings of the enemy can be found in you.

A. Conquest of Spirit and Zeal

I Peter 5:8

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.

Satan will use whomever is a willing vessel to bring you into a neutralized place. He wants to paralyze you. The pride in those that you love can be used against you. Its motive is to subdue and conquer your spirit and zeal toward God.

If you operate in pride inside of a relationship, then likewise, your motive is to subdue and conquer the spirit of the other individual for your own personal satisfaction and agenda. If pride is present in you, then your agenda in their lives is not the same as God’s. His purpose is to save and deliver. Yours is to subdue and conquer. To get them to bend to your will, not that of the Father.

You may tell yourself that you really want them saved or delivered from some spiritual deficiency. However, your pride will not arrest the works of Satan in their life. Instead it will enhance it. Your pride will cause others to build walls of defense against you and whatever you say you stand for. It will seek to destroy your testimony.

You may say that if someone is not ready to be saved they will put up walls of defense anyway. Well this is true. However, your pride will strengthen the walls, whereas love will destroy them.

B. Controlling Pride

Psalm 55: 12-14

12 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:

13 But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.

14 We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

The ultimate goal of pride in a relationship is to bring the other person into a state of bondage. Pride seeks to control.

When pride is the opposition used against you, its goal is to reign supreme over you. If your position in a relationship demands submission, such as that of a wife or sibling, then the only area of liberty you may experience is your gift to minister before the Lord.

However, if the Lord begins to use you in ways that put on display your new life, the pride in loved ones will not readily accept the fact that God actually uses you to such a magnitude. Instead they will systematically work to destroy your confidence in the ability God has given you. Remember, they ignorantly desire you to fail in your faith.

The pride in opposing loved ones may desire others to see the worst in you, especially those that befriend you. You must be subdued. You must be conquered and bound. You must be stopped. Though this operation can be accomplished by any family member or close friend, the most likely and probably the most proficient person for Satan to use is your spouse. This is the one you love the most and the one that can hurt you the most. Satan can use this relationship to his advantage if you and your spouse are not spiritual enough to discern his tactics.

2. JEALOUSY IN RELATIONSHIPS

Proverbs 6:34-35

34 For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengence.

35 He will not regard any ransom; neither will he rest content, though thou givest many gifts.

We learned in the series “The Thought War,” that jealousy is the hatred of what God is doing in the life of an individual. This definition will certainly suffice for the explanations found in this section of the lesson. If you are a worker in the kingdom of God, then you must be prepared for the opposition of jealousy. Now the thing that you must be prepared for, is that this jealousy may not come from those that are afar, quite the contrary. It may come from those that are the closest to you, even as Saul was close to David.

A. Jealousy will always discredit any spiritual labor and accomplishments.

Your good deeds or spiritual accomplishments must be destroyed because they give you a sense of confidence in the God within. They tend to make you feel useful and perhaps even valuable to society in some way. Therefore, your good deeds become an enemy to the one that is walking in jealousy.

B. Jealousy is never quenched or satisfied.

It will receive no remedy. Therefore, whenever or however the Lord uses you to help that individual in his or her quests, must never be spoken of by you or anyone else for that matter. The pride and jealousy in an individual cannot bear for anyone to know that you had anything to contribute.

C. Jealousy genders strife

It is designed to distract and discourage. In many cases, this will work because of the love you hold for the individuals that oppose you. You can become weary in well-doing and decide to give up the fight for their salvation or deliverance. In doing this the devil will have accomplished his goal.

3. MENTAL CRUELTY

Satan is aware of the things that disturb the flesh. He knows that to traumatize it, is to bring it into captivity once again. One of his most effective weapons to accomplish this is mental cruelty. This weapon may not be as devastating if worked through strangers. But we the saints of God will enjoy no such luxury.

Those that you love and respect may be the ones that verbally abuse you the most. They may even do things to hurt and vex you. They do not understand nor do they care to understand your commitment to the Word of God. Therefore, they do not realize that to abuse you is to offend the God in you. That is why it is pertinent that we remain intercessors for those that despitefully use and abuse us.

The objective of mental cruelty is the same as that of pride and jealousy. It is designed to subdue and conquer your will to serve the Lord. You must be made to feel deep despite and resentment. Yes, loved ones will desire you to feel their resentment for you in the hopes that it will cause you to change your course.

Mental cruelty is designed to crush you and rob you of all self-value. You must be made to feel worthless and useless to anyone including yourself. When this weapon is successful against you, deep depression is your landing strip. At this point, suicide becomes very tempting. Once the depression neutralizes you, Satan’s mission is accomplished.

PART B: PURPOSE MUST PREVAIL OVER PAIN

Matthew 5:11-12

11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

You must remember that it is the Father’s decision to allow the enemy to buffet you to this degree. You are being tempted by those that you say you love. These are the people that once loved you. These are the people that you are praying for the Father to save or deliver. You have been their intercessor. In fact, you may be their only intercessor. However, now they are at war with you. You are the target of their hatred and resentment.

I have said in many lessons, that your position in the war does not relieve you of your responsibility to the offender. You must work the ministry of reconciliation to the end. You must be able to stand before the Father blameless. You must be able to declare having done nothing to drive those individuals away from the love of God. If they move away, it must not be because you moved out of the character of Christ.

Your heart must be pure and clean before God the Father. You must be able to seek the Father for their deliverance in righteousness and not malice or strife. Being the victim of such injustice should have humbled you the more to do the will of the Father. You should see the hand of God move in the lives of those that oppose you. You are the stronger one. You have the love of God abiding within. You can bear every offense. Remember, He does not allow any more on you than you can bear.

In this part of the lesson we are going to take some time out to obey the scripture. We are going to first forgive the offenses of our loved ones, friends and others. Then we are going to pray for their deliverance in all honesty. This is the first step to your victory in the war.

Stop right now. Take this time to pray for the ones that have reviled and persecuted you. Pray that the love of the Father dwell in your heart. Seek compassion for them. Try to find the mercy that the Father had for you. You were not always in agreement with Him. In fact there were times when you out-right rebelled and sinned against Him. But He forgave you time and time again. Now that grace must rebound to those that you love. Stop now and pray.

Doc.