THE DOCTRINE OF MARRIAGE

In preparing material for a single’s conference the mind automatically considers relationships. It begins to assimilate data regarding healthy, or unhealthy, God-ordained or satanic inspired relationships. This is easy to do seeing as how most single’s conferences are designed to not only inspire marriage but to also prepare men and women for entering into healthy relationships that have the potential for marriage. I asked the question, “Should this be the goal of a single’s conference?” Since reality indicates that many women and men will never be married, would not such a conference inspire false hope for them?

It is important that all ministering to the Body of Christ be done from the position of the Spirit. We must maintain confidence in the Word of God and not be fearful to minister the heart and mind of the Father on any matter. This also means that elders in the Body must not be intimidated by the desire of the populace to form relationships and marry. We must keep the Word in focus and be careful not to undermine its intent. Truth is sufficient. Let us start at the heart of the matter. What does the scripture say about the single man and woman?

1 Corinthians 7:1

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

Note here that Paul is about to address an issue the Corinthian Elders had questioned in the communications they sent to him. It is important that you understand what is happening here. Many bible teachers have taught celibacy as the teachings of Paul, but that is simply not the case. Paul merely rewrote this issue in his epistle so that he could address it. They had concluded that it was not good for a man to touch a woman. They considered it best for those who had received Christ to remain celibate. Therefore they wanted to install a policy, (which would have become the doctrine of the church), forbidding those who were single to marry or for the widows to re-marry. Furthermore, as a result of this conclusion, many fathers were forbidding their daughters to marry, keeping their virgins holy unto the Lord. We will deal with this in more detail as we continue. However, it is expedient for us to answer the original question. Should the doctrine of the church forbid singles to marry or remarry? Paul proceeds to deal with the issue.

1 Corinthians 7:2

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Paul simply responds with wisdom and instruction so that fornication will not be an issue with the singles, he says to let or allow every man to take a wife. Likewise, allow every woman to be married to a husband.

1 Corinthians 7:6-9

6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

This is the mark of a good leader. He is careful to say those things that are the commandment of the Lord and yet identify those things that come from his wisdom as an apostle of the Lord. He notes, however, that his wisdom comes from his faithfulness to the Master. Paul makes it clear that it is more expedient for a saint to marry if fornication is a temptation that he or she is subject to yield to. For them it is better to marry than to burn in hell. Though it would be better if they could live as he lives, not needing the companionship of a spouse, but he realizes that every man is not as he is in their commitment to the baptism of the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 7:17

But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

Here Paul makes it clear that it is not the doctrine of the churches of Christ to forbid marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:24

Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

The apostle encourages everyone who comes into the Body to learn to abide in the state in which you came in. In other words, whether bond or free, married or unmarried, rich or poor, abide in God in peace. He will further reiterate this in later verses of this chapter.

1 Corinthians 7:25-26

25 Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.

Consider these same verses in the Amplified Bible.

25 Now concerning the virgins (the marriageable maidens) I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion and advice as one who by the Lord's mercy is rendered trustworthy and faithful. 26 I think then, because of the impending distress [that is even now setting in], it is well (expedient, profitable, and wholesome) for a person to remain as he or she is.AMP

1 Corinthians 7:27-28

27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. 28 But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

I want to spare you the trouble or problems that you are going to encounter entering into an institution that is designed strictly for the satisfaction of the flesh. Flesh has preferences and emotions in which marriage is a commitment that says, “I am willing to attempt to satisfy these emotions, wants and preferences. I am also willing to fulfill the laws of marriage that govern the flesh’s commitment to my spouse.”

1 Corinthians 7:29-31

29 But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30 And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31 And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.

The reality of the times is as such that those who marry will have to live as if they are not.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

32 But I would have you without carefulness. I do not want you to be in a dilemma concerning marriage. Therefore, I am going to make it very plain. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: 33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

Before I comment on this passage let us first consider how it is rendered in the Amplified Bible.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35

32 My desire is to have you free from all anxiety and distressing care. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord; 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly matters--how he may please his wife-- 34 And he is drawn in diverging directions [his interests are divided and he is distracted from his devotion to God]. And the unmarried woman or girl is concerned and anxious about the matters of the Lord, how to be wholly separated and set apart in body and spirit; but the married woman has her cares [centered] in earthly affairs--how she may please her husband. 35 Now I say this for your own welfare and profit, not to put [a halter of] restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and in good order and to secure your undistracted and undivided devotion to the Lord.

Usually when this passage is taught, many in the church become offended by it. They desire to be married therefore for one to say that marriage is a distraction is very offensive and grounds to leave the ministry. I have had some to do so. The passage does not condemn marriage nor does it make marriage unlawful, it simply speaks of marriage from the position of the Spirit and not the flesh. In the flesh, marriage to the right person is considered a wonderful thing. However, in the Spirit, anything that takes away our focus, or forces us to divide our commitment of servitude to God, is considered a distraction.

The flesh could never receive such teaching. It is the spiritual being that understands the mind and heart of the Father. It was not the heart of God for Israel to have a king. He was their king. Nevertheless, He allowed them to have kings over them. Though this was not His heart, it became His permissive will. The same is true concerning marriage. God wants to be the object of all our affection and servitude. Nevertheless, He has granted permission for us to marry if the necessity arises. King James Version:

1 Corinthians 7:36-38

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

The Amplified Bible:

1 Corinthians 7:36-38

36 But if any man thinks that he is not acting properly toward and in regard to his virgin [that he is preparing disgrace for her or incurring reproach], in case she is passing the bloom of her youth and if there is need for it, let him do what to him seems right; he does not sin; let them marry. 37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart [strong in mind and purpose], not being forced by necessity but having control over his own will and desire, and has resolved this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he is doing well. 38 So also then, he [the father] who gives his virgin (his daughter) in marriage does well, and he [the father] who does not give [her] in marriage does better.

1 Corinthians 7:39-40

39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.

This is the fork in the road. It is here that unbelief sets in. “She is happier if she so abide after my judgment.” It is not conceivable to the Body of Christ that God is able to make each of us happy without a mate. Once again you must stand in the Spirit in order to comprehend the truth of such a statement. Many tend to judge the things pertaining to God through the desire of the flesh. It is at that point that you are walking after the flesh and not the Spirit.

Yes, you are outside of the boundaries of the faith if you do not believe that you can be happy in this world without a mate. Now do not put words in my mouth. I did not say you are without the faith simply for wanting a mate, but I did say you are in unbelief and without the faith if you do not believe in the power of God to fulfill the craving for a mate. I want you to see yourself the way God created you. You are a new creature. You are not as Adam. Yes, you remain in a body of flesh and blood, but the life of that body is the Spirit of God. It is the Spirit that makes you a new creature, the offspring of God. You were created for His purpose and glory alone. The law that was working in your members constantly bringing you into captivity is no longer able to do so. The law of the Spirit of Life has made you free from the law of sin and death. The lust and wantonness of the flesh exist no more when you walk after the Spirit.

King James Version:

Galatians 5:24-25

24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

The Amplified Bible:

Galatians 5:24-25

24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires. 25 If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit we have our life in God, let us go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.]

If only the Body of Christ believed this report. Those who are in Christ have crucified the flesh, its nature, passions, appetites and desires. This is the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We are not captive by the wants of the flesh. We are able to live in this world without these former cravings. THIS IS THE POWER OF THE SPIRIT. Living such a life is not a struggle, as some would suppose. It is not true that you must constantly strive to suppress the desire for sex or lovemaking, companionship or matrimony. That is simply not the case. The new creature is a heavenly being. He is not mindful of the things pertaining to this world. He minds the things pertaining to God and godliness. He has but one mind and that is to glorify the Father here on earth. He is created in the image and nature of God.

One might ask, “Why does the new creature decide that he wants to be married?” You are able to determine those things you want to experience in the flesh. There are many things that we experience in the flesh that are not sin. Marriage is one of those things that you have been granted the right to experience. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well (1 Corinthians 7:27). The Lord simply wants you to realize that it is not a necessity for happiness.