ABUSE: A MAJOR HINDRANCE IN THE BODY

ABUSE: A MAJOR HINDRANCE IN THE BODY OF CHRIST

One of the major hindrances in the Body of Christ today is the devastating effects of abuse, whether it be mental, physical, verbal or sexual. Abuse can be defined as:

1. To use wrongly or improperly: misuse

2. To trick or deceive

3. To injure by maltreatment

Not only are unbelievers having trouble dealing with these effects, but Christians are also finding it difficult to move past painful situations. The memory of abuse or any negative circumstance or situation in our lives can work for us or against us. I must say that for the saint, especially one who has perception and understanding of God’s Word, there will be no peace in your life until you have allowed the Holy Spirit to purify your heart from the effects of abuse. My prayer is that you will open your heart and receive what the Lord is saying to you through this lesson.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

The scripture says that all things have become new, including your mind. At salvation, your soul (your being) was placed in the Spirit of Christ, thus merging them and making them one. This means that you now have His Spirit, His heart and His mind. You have the mind of Christ. With this mind, every thought, experience, memory and imagination is processed from the perspective of the truth of God’s word.

So why is it that after having received the Holy Spirit, there is still a struggle with past hurts? We struggle with these hurts because in the midst of the abuse, certain mindsets were formed that we continue to justify despite the conviction of the Holy Ghost. A mindset refers to the method and elements that we use to judge situations, circumstances and relationships.

Below are some of the common negative mindsets that are formed as a result of abuse:

• Damaged emotions
• Hopelessness
• Hatred
• Low self-esteem
• Depression
• Meanness

These mindsets have stunted the spiritual growth of thousands of Christians and continue to do so. However, this should not be the case, as God desires we be free of the weights that so easily beset us.

DAMAGED EMOTIONS

Emotions are strong feelings such as love, hate, fear and anger. They are feelings gendered by either the receiving of or the lack of affection. Affections are those natural desires of the flesh such as love, touch, kindness and consideration. When there is a supply of these desires, the emotions are usually affected in a positive way. However, where there is abuse or the absence of love, touch and kindness, usually there is a negative effect on the soul. This negative effect is called a damaged emotion. A damaged emotion is created by converting one’s belief system. This means that what was once accepted to be true love, is now seen as having an ulterior or selfish motive, and expressions of abuse are seen as strong desire and love. The truth is exchanged for something that the mind, because of the effect of abuse or lack of natural affection, determines as equal in value as it pertains to the satisfying of the flesh.

Let’s examine the case of a young girl who has been sexually abused during her childhood by her father. Let’s say that the father was very loving and affectionate towards his daughter; however, he crosses the line by molesting her. Because his affection became perverted, her mind began to rebel against the present belief system pertaining to men. The emotions become damaged or defiled with resentment, shame, guilt, worthlessness and unforgiveness. Now, because there is no one to interpret these emotions for her, mental frustration overwhelms the soul. There may not be a ready and available outlet for these feelings so she seeks refuge inside her imagination. The imagination becomes her comfort zone and her place of survival. Lack of trust, hatred, confusion, guilt, unforgiveness, depression, loneliness, and oftentimes perversion are all housed in the imagination for further consideration and implementation.

This dependency on the thoughts of the imagination alienates her from the opinions, the love, concern and the trust of others. An obsessive dependency on self is formed. If the emotions gendered by the abuse is not interpreted through the word of God, the fleshy mind (brain) begins to interpret or analyze the experience by reasoning. Whatever interpretation the mind gives to the experience, that becomes law. More credence is given to what the mind produces than the actual truth. She feels as if her value in life or her self-worth as a person only comes from her ability to provide men with sex. She is confused about love and begins to interpret sex as love. In her mind, men are never seen as a genuine nurturer or protector, only as a pleasure seeker. If a man is gentle, loving and kind, it is only because he wants to have sexual relations with her. All men are seen through the eyes of the abuse inflicted upon her by her father and are judged as being no good.

HOPELESSNESS & DESPAIR

Because these feelings are harbored in the imagination and are denied expression, extreme frustration, hatred and depression consume the soul, bringing it to a place of hopelessness and despair. This state of hopelessness and despair is strengthened by the fact that reality is nothing like the thoughts of the imagination. Therefore, she prefers to live inside the imagination and actually feels that no harm is done, since no one actually knows what is going on inside her mind.

The imagination is very powerful and it creates feelings and emotions that are just as real as one’s actual reality. This becomes very evident when the same responses from the people imagined in your imagination are expected in real life. People become pawns. You will never deal with them according to how they actually are, but according to what you have made them to be in your thoughts. If these mindsets are not dealt with, your relationships throughout the rest of your life, not just with men, will be dysfunctional. (Dysfunctional: Impaired or disordered functioning of a bodily system or organ.) There will be a continual search for a father figure in men, as well as a continual search for love through sex. This is your way of asking for the love your father never gave to you. However, you must accept the fact that these men are not your father and they were not the perpetrator of your hurt.

MEANNESS

Meanness is a reaction to a lack of love and understanding and is used to cover your true feelings. It is the opposite of love. It is to be pettily bad-tempered, disagreeable and hard to cope with. In your mind, every one must make up for what your offender did to you and for the love you were denied. You will harbor extreme hatred toward people in general. Sin, no matter what it is, touches every part of our lives. It touches every feeling, every emotion and every relationship. All it needs is opportunity.

In your interactions with people, you find little emotional satisfaction because you go into relationships looking for love, not wanting to give love. Whether intentional or not, your supply to relationships is to make others feel worthless and good for nothing. Because you were denied expression, you determine this will no longer be the case. Therefore, you consistently belittle others through constant ridicule and criticism. Every physical imperfection and every character flaw are pointed out and commented on in a negative vain. Offenders are constantly told they’re nothing, they’re stupid and they can’t do anything right. They may be constantly compared to others and made to feel very inadequate.

You will even intentionally start an argument so you can say mean things. God forbid if those in your relationships are passive and soft spoken because you will hate them more intensely and their passivity will be viewed as weakness. You would almost prefer that person stand up to you even if he became abusive, because you then view that as strength. Abuse is a more familiar territory for you and more readily accepted over love and kindness. Remember, this thinking is a result of damaged emotions and may sound silly or far-fetched, but it is not. Thousands of men and women are trapped inside of these devastating circumstances everyday.

GETTING TO THE ROOT

The root of your meanness, hopelessness and damaged emotions is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is pride and will not allow you to completely love others out of a pure heart because your heart is not pure. Sad to say, as long as you suffer from unforgiveness, love will never be enough for you. This is because you are constantly making everyone in your life pay for your negative experiences, especially if your actual offender has not suffered in some way. You have made your pain a god, and when people entreat you, they are entreating the memory of your pain. Are you a person who is always reminding others of the evil things someone has done to you or what you did not receive as a child? Why are you constantly rehearsing this to the people around you? Usually it is because you have decided that you are justified to remain in a negative mindset and you want others around you to accept that mindset.

You feel that the people around you who know of your abuse or bad experiences should understand and tolerate your negative mindset or lack of love. Meanness, unforgiveness and pride, will demand that others submit to it also. The enemy (Satan) is using your own negative thinking and hurts to further destroy you, your relationship with loved ones, friends and your relationship with God. The abuse does not have to be sexual in order for these mindsets to be formed. The same mindsets can be formed in cases of mental, verbal and other forms of physical abuse.

DEALING WITH THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF ABUSE

To purify your heart from the effects of abuse, you must embrace the mind of Christ. Even though we are new creatures in Christ, who received the mind of Christ, we must choose to think with His mind or it will be of no benefit to us.

The scriptures put it this way:

Philippians 2:5

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

To let means to allow. Allow the mind of Christ to operate in you, with no resistance.

1 Peter 4:1

Forasmuch then as Christ hath suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he that hath suffered in the flesh hath ceased from sin;

To ‘arm yourself’ means to equip yourself with a weapon as you prepare for battle. Embracing the mind of Christ that you have received is a weapon against the thoughts and suggestions that the enemy will attack with. The mind of Christ is revealed in the principles of the word of God, and is the way that the Holy Spirit naturally urges you to think.

Ephesians 4:22-24

22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

To walk in unforgiveness or any negative mindset, is due to a rejection of the Spirit’s leading, and a rejection of your nature as a son of God. Your deliverance can only be found in returning to your nature. You must accept who you are, and allow the mind of Christ to operate in you.