B:MARRIAGE: REUNION OF MALE AND FEMALE

Ephesians 5:28-33

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I Peter 3:6-7

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Weaker:

more feeble, little strength.

Vessel:

a wife as contributing to the usefulness of the husband.

Now we come to the purpose for the institution of marriage: It is the reunion of the counterparts. Let us take a closer look inside the union of the husband and the wife.

Relationship:

Marriage is a relationship in which two people (man and woman) are joined together by divine order. It is that perforated part carved out of the man returning to complete the design and desire of his flesh. This is a holy union. It is the first institution of the flesh. The Lord called Eve, wife.

Genesis 2:23-24

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Because the woman was taken out of the man, he is to leave, or loose himself from his parents, and cleave, or rather cling to his wife. In other words, he is to forsake all others to abide with his wife.

Ephesians 5:28-30

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE HUSBAND:

The husband is the authority over his wife, even as Christ is the authority over the Church. This is very important because it is the order of God in the union of man and woman. If we go back to the Garden, we see that the Lord gave the man and the woman dominionship over all the earth. Note the scripture:

The head of the wife:

Ephesians 5:23-24

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Genesis 1:26-28

26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Here we can plainly see:

1. Both the man and the woman were created in the image of God.

IMAGE: (a) of man as he was created as being a visible representation of God, (b) a being corresponding to the original; (c) the condition of man being suitable to bear responsibility, with Godlike qualities. (d) resemblance; hence, a representative figure. This simply means that man and woman were both suitable for bearing responsibility. They are both the representatives of God the creator.

2. Man and woman were both created in the likeness of God. This means they both were given dominion over the earth. This is power and authority over all that dwells on the earth or above it.

Dominion - Supreme authority or control:

3. They were both given the power to subdue the earth. To subdue means to conquer or bring into subjection. Now this is interesting, because the woman was commanded along with the man to bring everything that dwells upon the earth into submission regarding the will of God. She was given power over the earth from the beginning of creation. The woman is to be his help-meet in the subduing of the earth.

Now comes the reality however, of the reconciliation of all script. The man was before the woman, and the woman was made for the man, not the man for the woman. Now this does not mean that the woman was any less capable to bear responsibility than the man. It simply means that the man was operating in dominionship first. However, the Lord realized that he needed help, not just a mate to reproduce, but a helper to accomplish the maintenance of planet Earth.

Please remember that we are not just talking about any woman. Eve was created to be a wife to Adam. Therefore, she was brought into a marital situation wherein the husband was the established head or original authority. Though she might be equal with him in ability and God-given power, she is to operate in the union or marriage in the spirit of meekness and subjection.

To Love: to express the essential nature of God, (1 John 4:8)

"Love can be known only from the actions it prompts. God's love is seen in the gift of His Son, <1 John 4:9,10>. But obviously this is not the love of complacency, or affection, that is, it was not drawn out by any excellency in its objects, <Rom. 5:8>.[while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us] It was an exercise of the divine will in deliberate choice, made without assignable cause save that which lies in the nature of God Himself. (Vine’s Expository)

I John 4:16-19

16 And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

17 Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world.

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

19 We love him, because he first loved us.

Although the woman was equal to man in ability and God-given power, in marriage, she is to operate in the Spirit of Meekness and subjection.

The man is to love his wife as his own body. She is the body of the man and she is his naked self revealed to the world. He is to love her the way Christ loves the Church. This means that his love for his wife is to be displayed not because she is excellent in character or affection, but because of the nature of the God within him.

Therefore, the husband’s love should absorb the infirmities, weaknesses and offences of the wife. This operation of his love in the union is designed to produce love in his wife. This is important because the man is the authority of the home. This makes him the leader. He is to lead in the revealing of the love of God. He is supposed to reveal the character of Christ to the wife.

Note Verse 19 above, We love him, because he first loved us. The wife will come to love and respect the husband when he first loves her.

Nourish: to rear up to maturity; to cherish or train: bring up, nourish.

Cherish: to hold dear and treat affectionately.

THE LOVE AND AFFECTION OF THE HUSBAND WILL PRODUCE LOVE IN THE WIFE.

In love is respect, adoration and reverence. Therefore, the love of the man will cause the woman to automatically move into submission and to truly love him. Here is where the glory of the man is realized . . . in the submission of his wife to his will. Every married man longs for this submission from the woman. Brothers, it is obtainable, but you must be willing to achieve it God’s way. Remember, love and respect are prompted by love and respect. This is the way of the Lord. The husband is charged with bringing his wife to maturity. He is to train her in the mind and heart of God. However, it is not possible for him “to rear up” or “train” if he is immature. This is where the frustration of many men begins. Many men marry before they are matured to supply the things God commanded them to deposit in marriage.

Immaturity will not allow the husband to accomplish his role in the union. Therefore, in many marriages there is a reversal of roles. Many times men are not as given over to the mind of Christ as their wives. Sometimes, they may be lacking in wisdom pertaining to the things in the world, as well as in the Church. If this is the case, then we have a reversal of roles and this causes an unequal yoke.

The woman is oftentimes forced to accomplish the things God commanded the man to do. Nevertheless, this can be very frustrating and demeaning to the man, for he knows he is not what he is supposed to be. This can breed jealousy and resentment.

He then will compensate for this failure so he can live with his own ego. Thus, pride is substituted for maturity and becomes his way to establish and maintain control over the woman. This is sad because the Lord has already established His method of submission.

I Peter 5:5-6

5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.

6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: . . .

If you find yourself in such a position, then be wise, learn from the wisdom of your wife. No man that loves the Word of God would despise or suppress the natural or spiritual wisdom of his wife. Submit to that wisdom by humbling yourself. For God has said that He will resist the proud but gives grace to the humble. He will exalt you in your position of authority to a place where your wife will love and respect you. Remember, pride does not produce love, it destroys it.

Pride - An overly high opinion of oneself: CONCEIT. (Webster’s Dictionary)

THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE WOMAN:

To love her husband: To give him the respect, reverence and adoration ordered by God. Though there is no scripture that specifically says, “wife love your husband,” this is a commandment for all of the Body of Christ. We are all commanded by God to love one another. This commandment is for the married as well as the unmarried. Therefore, let us not belittle the purpose of God by such a play on words. In fact, this should be easy for the woman because she was made a loving, tender creature and it is her very nature to love. In the union she is to return those emotions taken from deep within his soul. In doing so, she fulfills the desire of the man.

Her love must be with respect for him as the authority in her life. Therefore, she is not to usurp authority over her husband. This simply means that she is to obey him in all things. I do not believe it is necessary to say “except those things that would cause her to defile her conscience toward God.” I would hope that we all realize where the line of obedience is drawn. If a wife is espoused to an immature or unsaved mate, it is not uncommon for him to demand things of her that would defile her conscience.

To love means to be patient. Allow God the Father to work out those things that are in error. Do not be a peacebreaker. Do not interfere with the method by which God is going to use to correct your husband. If the woman would learn to disallow any negative emotion or offense due to the immaturity of her husband, then the Lord can work out the situation. He will meet your husband where he is spiritually.

I Peter 3:1-5

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands . . .

St. John 15:12

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

Peacemaker – One who does not interfere with the operation of the Holy Ghost in their own life and in the lives of others. The peacemaker will keep God's purpose for man (a manifested son) always before Him. He will always seek to allow God's peace to prevail.

(Banks’ Expository)

Here the wife is commanded to bring all her God-given ability and power under the authority of her husband. However, if her husband is off-course with God, or does not obey the Word of God, it is possible for him to be won back into righteousness by the conversation or behaviour of the wife. Peter goes on to call this a chaste behaviour.

CHASTE: (a) "pure from every fault, immaculate; (b) "pure from carnality, modest," "holy, as being free from admixture of evil"; "holy, as being free from defilement"; “pure, as being tested.”

In such cases where the husband is offensive to his mate, he is also offensive to his God. Therefore, the wife is instructed to adorn herself in a meek and quiet spirit. In other words, wear the Holy Ghost like a garment. Walk in purity, not carnality. Love, not offend, realizing that the disposition of your husband is a test for you.

The purity of the new man is not obtainable when the heart is suffering from the hurts of the offenses of your mate. You have no right to rest in the hurt nor lay the offenses to his charge. You are to allow your spiritual nature to absorb the offense so that your love and patience might allow him to become a partaker of the grace of God in your life. Turn your hurt into pity for his state of being. Be pitiful toward him, not toward yourself.

Note that we are instructed to trust the Lord in this matter. God knows that in this case He has left you in subjection to some evil ways of your husband. Therefore, He obligates Himself to deal with the man in the matter. God did so with Joseph when Joseph was espoused to Mary.

Offense - 1. An occassion to stumble or fall. 2. Will cause anger, dislike or displeasure which are emotions and reactions of the flesh and the fleshy mind. (Banks’ Expository)

We must be willing to forgive all offenses just as God forgives us.

Mary’s responsibility was to obey the Word of the Lord. In doing so, she was placed in a bad position with her husband, for he did not believe that she had a visitation from God. Neither did he believe that God had impregnated her with the righteous seed. Nevertheless, she accepted all that the Lord desired to do with her, trusting that He would preserve her in light of the law and her husband. Note that before Joseph was able to deal with her adversely, the Lord revealed the truth to him. God will do the same for you. Trust Him.

Meekness: gentleness, mild, a soothing disposition, power under control.

To love is to build up. Edify your mate. Make him feel the love God built inside the woman. Do not allow yourself to hold back love and affection. Remove all doubt as to whether you really love him. Speak those things that encourage and build. If the truth is painful, then speak it in love. Never consider that you are the one who will change your mate; It will be the God in you or God without you. Allow the Holy Ghost by remaining in a posture of humility when there are adverse and contentious situations. Trust God. He will either deliver him to the truth or drive him away. Whichever is the case, it must be God who deals with him, not you. Respect his position in your life. He is your head.

Trust the Father. Give negative situations over to Him. Learn how to mature. Discover and define your weaknesses. Apply the Word to them. God will teach you how to grow in wisdom if you remain humble.

Ephesians 5:30-31

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

The reunion of the male and female can be glorious if God is at the center of the relationship. There must be a mutual respect for the Word of God for marriage to survive in this world.

Only God can change people!

This is the mystery of marriage: the coming together of the male and the female brings the creation of the human race back to its original state. The man is to loose himself from his parents, cling to his wife and that which was two shall once again become one flesh.