Dealing With Offenses and Unforgiveness

This lesson will teach you how to deliver yourself, and others, from the captivity of offenses and unforgiveness that have held so many in bondage for many years. For as long as we can remember, we have held grudges against those we live with, work for, associate with and love. We console ourselves by giving the “silent treatment,” “backbiting,” “spreading rumors,” or just plain “getting even.” When asked how many times we should forgive our brother who sins against us, Jesus told Peter, “...until seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22).

This seems an inconceivable task for some, and simply impossible for others. Yet, if our sincere desire is to walk in the character of Christ, we must take on this mindset.

OFFENSES

An offense is a stumbling block. It is that thing that brings about an occasion to stumble or fall. An offense can hinder and even stop the flow of love if it is not forgiven. Take time to read the scriptures below for they speak the mind of the Father concerning offenses in the Body of Christ.

Matthew 6:12, 14-15

12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Luke 17:1-10

1 Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offenses will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come!

2 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.

3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive

him.

5 And the apostles said unto the Lord, Increase our faith.

6 And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and

it should obey you.

7 But which of you, having a servant plowing or feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from the field, Go and sit down to meat?

8 And will not rather say unto him, Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird thyself, and serve me, till I have eaten and drunken;

and afterward thou shalt eat and drink?

9 Doth he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I trow not.

10 So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

The Lord admonishes us that offenses will come; even though He puts a woe upon the one who brings the offense. However, the woe will come from the Lord, not from us. There will be those who will sin against us maliciously, but the Lord instructs us to forgive each offense. When Jesus insisted that the apostles were to forgive as many as seven offenses in the run of a day, the apostles began to question their ability to do such a thing. Consequently, they asked the Lord to increase their faith. Many times we think of having “great faith” only as a necessity to perform great healings or miracles. However, the first work of faith is to prepare the heart to love the way God loves. Notice also that Jesus acknowledged that they did not have

the kind of faith He knew was necessary to extend this kind of love to their fellowman. They were only considering belief as the definition of faith. Jesus came to introduce a Dispensation of Faith, which is the Operation of the Holy Ghost in the lives of the sons of God. This dispensational Faith (the indwelling of the Holy Ghost) would be more powerful than that of mere belief. It would be functional. It would be effectual. It would bring the believer to a place of perfection, wherein he loves his God with all his heart and his fellow man as himself. This faith would be the fulfilling of all the commandments.

THE SYCAMINE TREE

Notice too, that Jesus symbolized the most painful of all offenses as a sycamine tree. The sycamine tree is a type of mulberry tree. The thing that distinguishes it from the other trees in its family is its black fruit. The analogy is that the fruit of an offense left to grow inside of the sons of God is black . . . very black. Take note, Jesus declares that the operation of the Holy Ghost in the life of the believer is powerful enough to pluck even such a thing up by the roots. Offenses must be disposed of at the root. There must not be a trace of the root left. If the root is left, the tree will grow again ... lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled (Hebrews 12:15). Paul insists that roots of bitterness springing up from offenses will trouble you and defile others. But what does he mean when he says, “trouble you?” Quite simply, it means that bitterness will rob you of your ability to love. It will indeed stop the flow of love. Remember, for the sons of God, the desire to love is innate; therefore, you will be uncomfortable not being able to love your brother or sister. You will have to entertain certain foreign, yet painful emotions every time that individual is mentioned, or the thought of the offense is brought to mind. This is not normal, and the stress placed on fleshy emotions will cripple your will and darken your imagination.

But Paul does not stop there. He insists that your bitterness will defile others. What others? He is referring to those who are involved in relationships with you. It will rob them of experiencing your love. It will also hinder them in their attempt to love you. Therefore, if those in your relationships do not experience your love, it is because they have become victims of your iniquity. It is erroneous to think that your hatred of another does not affect those whom you believe you love. Your loved ones have to live with the iniquity you have for others. They are often made weary by your disposition with others. They can never look to you for spiritual support, because they know that your heart is not pure and free from iniquity. Furthermore, it is erroneous to think that you can love only certain people. If you are one to hold offenses against those outside your marriage or immediate family, you will do the same to those in the immediate family and to your spouse. A rattlesnake is a rattlesnake. It does not care who it bites. If you will not forgive your sister, you will not forgive your spouse, if he or she commits the offense that tests your love. Nevertheless, Jesus declared that Faith (the operation of the Holy Ghost) is capable of plucking up monumental iniquity by the roots.

BREAKING FREE OF OFFENSES

The term unforgiveness means to hold in the heart the sin and trespasses of another. It burdens that person with guilt and condemnation. It stops the flow of love, leaving no possibility of reconciliation until unforgiveness is destroyed. The root of unforgiveness is bitterness from what the fleshy mind and the emotions interpret as an offense. You can receive counsel, go to the altar, talk to God and still have unforgiveness lodged in your heart. Unforgiveness must be purged out of the heart. This purging must be from the inside out. Just because you discuss an offense does not mean you are healed. You must overcome the offense. The word overcome means to overtake. In other words, you must overcome it with something more powerful than the offense itself. And there is only one thing that is more powerful than offenses. LOVE. Only the love of God that flows from us like rivers of living water will destroy the power of an offense.

OVERCOMING INIQUITY

Ephesians 4:26-27, 29-32

26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:

27 Neither give place to the devil . . .

29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.

31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Notice that to carry the offense for even a day is an occasion to sin. It is a time for iniquity to develop in the heart. When you disobey this commandment, you give a place in your heart to the devil. Then, He can install his devices in your imagination. Consider also that the scripture admonished you to go to your sister or brother if you have an ought with one.

Matthew 18:15

Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

If there is contention between you and someone else, go to them with a heart that seeks reconciliation. This “going to” was designed to stop the development of iniquity, not to purge iniquity that has already developed. Your purpose in going must be to keep iniquity from forming in your heart. However, after iniquity is formed, going to your brother may not remove the iniquity.

Remember the offense is in you. It has already taken root, and formed iniquity in your heart. However, you must realize your spiritual location is not dependent upon how

people treat you. In fact, if the offense has already formed iniquity in your heart, then going to the other person with iniquity in your heart could possibly make the situation worse. The ability to purge the heart of iniquity has nothing to do with the other person. It is an act of absolute obedience to the will of the Father.

INIQUITY WILL CHANGE YOUR PERSONALITY

When you do not deal righteously with offenses, iniquity grows and begins to consume you. The manifestation of this is in the shaping of your personality. The way you deal with

people now will be determined by how you have dealt with offenses of your past. If you were unsuccessful in dealing with those offenses, you will certainly handle present day circumstances and relationships in remembrance of the hurts and pain of yesterday. Others will suffer because of your past hurts. Others will be denied the beauty of real love from you because of your nurtured pain from the past. The truth is the personality others experience is not the real you. The real you is buried in the pain and crucified in the hurts. The real you wants to love and trust again, but the risk seems to be too great. You are afraid of hurting and trusting again. You are afraid of feeling the same pain. The truth is you are already hurting without trusting.

You are already hurting without loving. You are miserable. Whenever you refuse to deal with offenses in righteousness, iniquity is bred. You can lose confidence in your own spirituality, because you continue to “not” do the righteous thing. Your “will to do” can be broken. When your will to deal righteously is broken, you will experience spiritual depression (which is the opposite of spiritual stress). Spiritual stress results when we force the fleshy mind and the body to do the righteous thing, without wholehearted agreement in the soul. Spiritual depression comes from the knowledge that you are not dealing righteously. The devil wants to justify your position by saying it would not do you any good to do the righteous thing. Believing this lie strengthens the depression. There is a way out of this prison. You can deliver yourself from the pain of the past. How? By dealing with the offenses of today. Remember, iniquity must be purged out of the heart. It must be overcome by something more powerful. Target a present situation. Determine to change the way you internally deal with the offense. You can absorb the present offense by doing the righteous thing. You must deal with offenses the way the Word instructs. When you do the righteous thing, old hatred and bitterness will be purged. When you operate in love, this digs out any residue of negative fleshy emotions. If you deal in righteousness with present offenses, it will purge you of the pain you once suffered from old offenses. When you walk in love, you see old offenders differently. Because you are walking in the Spirit, your mind is renewed; and because the iniquity that shaped your personality is purged, your personality will change. Love is more powerful than iniquity. Too often we hide behind religious foolishness. What happens if the other person refuses to reconcile, or continues to feel the same about you? The enemy will make you feel you are not delivered because someone does not say what you want to hear.

The iniquity of bitterness is a spiritual flaw. Do not allow the devil to discourage you. Your deliverance is not based upon someone agreeing with or apologizing to you. The Word of God delivers. You must meet and overcome evil with good. Go now and find an adverse object to love. Seek out someone to love who has really done you wrong. Prove the power of love and obedience to God. Again, deal with the present day offenses and offenders. (The offender may or may not be someone who offended you in the past.) You must deal with friends who are hurting you now. Allowing love to flow today will purge you of the hurts of the past. Please understand that distrusting people because of offenses does not stop there. It filters over into your relationship with God. It is impossible for someone operating in this disposition to trust God. Your mind has been trained not to trust or believe in love. If you do not trust God, you will not trust His Word.

VULNERABILITY: A STEP TOWARD DELIVERANCE

How do you get back to trusting God? You must make yourself vulnerable. Look upon your offender with pity, and see them as a soul. The offense is then absorbed. The

most they can do is vex your spirit. When love flows, it opens the floodgates and the spiritual enemies of your past are drowned in the sea of forgetfulness. Remember, once iniquity has set in, the evil has progressed. Talking will not remove the spiritual disposition. Once iniquity is established, you must get rid of it with love. If you go to a past offender, with the wrong motive, you may end up worse than you were before you went. The offender may lay another offense in your life. We are responsible for delivering ourselves from the snare. If you harbor iniquity in your heart, you can be used by the devil. Your iniquity will become his stronghold. If you want to purge yourself of iniquity, then you must not avoid your offenders, but instead, seek them out with love and allow patience to have her perfect work. God is depending on you to reveal the power that is in the gospel of Jesus Christ. The ministry of reconciliation does not lay the offense to the offender’s charge. You must deal with the offender without holding him or her responsible. You judge. Which is more profitable? To hold on to the hatred, or to get rid of it and God be glorified?